Hypaethral

You are tired, (I think) Of the always puzzle of living and doing; And so am I. Come with me, then, And we'll leave it far and far away— (Only you and I, understand!) You have played, (I think) And broke the toys you were fondest of, And are a little tired now; Tired of things that break, and— Just tired. So am I. But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight, And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart— Open to me! For I will show you the places Nobody knows, And, if you like, The perfect places of Sleep. Ah, come with me! I'll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon, That floats forever and a day; I'll sing you the jacinth song Of the probable stars; I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream, Until I find the Only Flower, Which shall keep (I think) your little heart While the moon comes out of the sea. e. e. cummings

Those of you that have met me in real life most likely know me as a tough, never-takes-crap-from-anyone type of person. I rough it with the boys and I don't ever show my feelings. Those who just read my blog are probably confused by that. The only thing seen on here lately are all of those feelings I never show in real life. Well people, which is the real Whitney and which is the mask? The truth is that yeah, I am a tough girl, and yeah, if you give me crap I'll fight back and your crap isn't going to change who I am. But the other truth is that even though I'm strong, I'm weak too. I know it's a paradox. It really does make sense in my deranged brain. People, I put on this facade of the constantly strong girl, but I do have feelings. I cry. A lot. I feel the need to talk to people a lot. I feel alone a lot. I act like I don't need people and I don't need comfort, but the truth is that I do. Yeah I'm tough, but I have weaknesses. I am

Yes Jo-jo, I was thinking about you when I used the lyrics from that song you love in my title. Also, I think you are great. Anyway, this has been something that has been gnawing at my brain for quite a while now. It's going to sound really cliche, but whatever. Here it is: No one really knows me. No it's true! I don't think there is a single one of my friends who really knows me. They think they know me, but they only know one facet. Maybe they're like me. when I meet someone and "get to know them" I flatten them. (For those of you who don't fancy yourselves as writers: a flat character is a minor character that doesn't grow or change throughout the story). So after I decide that I've learned enough I flatten them down and that's who they are to me. I don't allow any additional information to change that and I don't even try and seek out additional information. Anyway, maybe that's why my friends don't know me, bec

I'm 21. I know, that's young, but that's woman age right? Well, some people tell me that. So if that is woman age, why do I still feel like a little girl? I'll have times when I'm hanging out with my older friends that I'll feel like a woman. I just feel grown up. But, once I catch a glimpse of myself in a the reflection of the TV or in a mirror, immediately I feel like a little girl. All of my grown woman confidence leaves and I feel vulnerable and weak. It's like I'm instantly reminded of all of my insecurities and lack of experience. Is it because I feel insecure about how I look? I don't think so. I'm fairly arrogant and I think I'm pretty, maybe even beautiful. (People have gotten me to believe that on occasion). Maybe it's just because when I see myself I'm just reminded of who I am. Or I guess who my past is casting me as. It seems the past is keeping me at bay. Or I guess I'm letting it. Those times that I