Man, I don't feel like a woman...

I'm 21. I know, that's young, but that's woman age right? Well, some people tell me that. So if that is woman age, why do I still feel like a little girl?

I'll have times when I'm hanging out with my older friends that I'll feel like a woman. I just feel grown up. But, once I catch a glimpse of myself in a the reflection of the TV or in a mirror, immediately I feel like a little girl. All of my grown woman confidence leaves and I feel vulnerable and weak. It's like I'm instantly reminded of all of my insecurities and lack of experience.

Is it because I feel insecure about how I look? I don't think so. I'm fairly arrogant and I think I'm pretty, maybe even beautiful. (People have gotten me to believe that on occasion). Maybe it's just because when I see myself I'm just reminded of who I am. Or I guess who my past is casting me as. It seems the past is keeping me at bay. Or I guess I'm letting it.

Those times that I feel confident and grown up is when I feel most comfortable and most like myself. Then I see me and I'm reminded of who I used to be. I'm reminded of who I was for so long and I cast that over this new me and then feel bad about it.

I guess it's not so much a maturity thing as a confidence thing. Perhaps I'm reading this all wrong. I don't feel mature, I just feel confident. Then when I see my reflection I don't feel immature, I just feel less confident. I revert back to the shy, quiet, insecure Whitney. So how I can convince my eyes that the new, confident, strong, and outspoken Whitney is that girl staring back? I need to make them forget old Whitney.

Anyway, just some random thoughts that have been whirring about in my head for a few days. Happy Thursday world.

Comments

  1. Gamspier08 April, 2011 01:09

    Your blog reminded me of the following:

    http://youtu.be/_9U78NbX9ro

    It's kind of random, but hopefully you'll find it somewhat amusing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Emily10 April, 2011 22:34

    1. Whatever you were in your "past" is gone and forgiven, if necessary. You can't move forward when you keep looking back! You can be a new you!

    2. You are pretty. Thats a fact, not an opinion.

    3. You are amazing. You are intelligent, witty, funny, fun, a good cook, awesome at make up, athletic, have amazing muscles, and much more.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11 April, 2011 11:21

    Who is that girl I see
    Staring straight
    Back at me?
    Why is my reflection someone
    I don't know?
    Somehow I cannot hide
    Who I am
    Though I've tried
    When will my reflection show
    Who I am inside?
    When will my reflection show
    Who I am inside?

    ReplyDelete

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