Unsent letter

Hello friend,

I don't know if you read my blog. I know you've read one post, but I highly doubt you've ever come back to it. I don't know, if you do read it then I guess I don't know you as well as I thought. Whatever though.

I like you. I like you a lot. I think you used to like me. Remember those times when we would flirt and have a good time and laugh? Or those times that we would actually carry on a conversation? Why did those times die? I personally think it's because I want to be with you, but you don't want to be with me.

Remember the countless times I've told you that it's really hard for me to act contrary to my feelings? Well my feelings tell me to be affectionate and flirty, but I know that if I act on that it will make you feel awkward. So instead I spend my time with you suppressing my feelings and feeling awkward myself rather than trying to have a good time with you. It's sad really.

My friends tell me that I can do better than you. They tell me that I deserve better than you. Heck, even you tell me that I can do better than you. But if that's true, then isn't the fact that I don't want to so wonderful? This proves that I like you. I'm not just settling because I have no other options. I'm choosing you because I like you that much. It's a beautiful thing.

Remember those six days we were dating? I don't know what you remember from them, but I remember feeling butterflies for the first time in a long time. Thank you.

Liking you makes me consider irrational and illogical options. I want to tell you the emotional distress I've been going through for the past month even though I know you can't do anything to solve my problems. There is no logic to telling you these things, yet I want to so badly.

But I'm also scared. You're the only person who makes me nervous. I don't care what other people think, but for some reason I do care what you think. I wonder why that is. It drives me a little crazy. When I'm around you I lose my arrogance and I feel like a timid little girl again.

I know it may seem like I'm trying to pressure you into something more, but really I'm just bursting with all of these unexpressed emotions and I have to get them out. I really enjoy being friends with you and I consider you one of my best friends. I hope this friendship can continue. Thank you for taking me under your wing during a time in my life that I felt alone. You are amazing.

Warmest regards,

Whitney