Life, what am I supposed to do with you?

I don't know if this post will make it to posting. It may just sit in draft land like the hundreds of others I've started and never finished. Life is being difficult. Some of you may have known that I started my mission papers. Well, for those of you who knew, and I guess for those of you who didn't, the papers are now on hold indefinitely. The reasons are many and varied. Maybe it's just not right for me. If that's the case, I really don't know what to do.

In other news: I am not sleeping. Not by choice. My brain is just not so into the idea I guess. I stay awake for hours just staring at the ceiling. I even have a playlist for that very thing. It's titled "Songs to lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling to." A little long, but it's the content that gives it value. Just last night I was up until about six am. I had class at ten and my alarm was set for nine. I didn't wake up until noon. I get crap from my friends for not trying hard enough in school and for being lazy. I'm not trying to be like this. I really do have goals and ambitions. For some reason I just can't get the sleep I need. Maybe I'm dying.

And in even more news, boys are dumb. Yes, I know saying that makes me guilty of apriorism, and therefore makes me immediately wrong, but I don't care. And we'll leave that one right there.

So, here's my dilemma in a nutshell: One, I was planning on a mission, but now that's up in the air. Two, I'm tired. Always. Three, even though I've found a major I love, my body can't wake up. As a result I am way WAY behind in the class. Four, I am in emotional distress and have been for the past few weeks, and I don't trust anyone enough to talk about it. Huzzah. Go life. You are awesome.

Now time to post this and start a post about apriorism, because I think we are all guilty of it.