On not taking offense

So a friend of mine told me to come over to his place and have a study party with him. Since I really like this friend (yes children, like-like) I was excited to spend any time with him. Well, not long into our studies he asked me if I would be offended if he went and helped another friend with a project of hers.

The old Whitney would have complained and made him feel guilty and rude for even suggesting such a thing. The new Whitney however simply said, "No, that's fine," and packed up her bag and left.

Sure I was a little bummed. Sure I'm jealous that he's going to spend time with another girl (even if he's not interested in either of us... irrational, feeling that way. No?). But it doesn't matter. Whatever my response, my friend would still have wanted to go and help her. My taking offense and making a big stink about it may have made him stay with me, but it wouldn't have made him like me anymore or improve our friendship in any way. In fact, it probably would have done the opposite.

I know this probably sounds pretty jumbled, but I promise this blog post makes sense in my crazy mind. Besides, if you're friends with me you probably have a crazy, jumbled mind as well so I suppose it makes sense to you. All I'm trying to get at is taking offense is rarely good for anyone. I may even go as far as saying that it is never good for anyone, but that would contradict a blog post stewing in my mind about not using absolutes or making generalizations... Either way, if you have the choice to take offense or brush it off, brush it off! Your taking offense will just make you feel bad for yourself, and generally make others feel angry and defensive. Both bad things.

So, in new Whitney fashion, let's look at the positive. His friend gets the help she needs. He gets to help someone. And I get to clean my room and blog. All good things. Also, I finished my Biology homework - something I probably wouldn't have gotten done at his place because my mind wanders when I'm with him because I want to talk to him. Hooray for productivity and for not being a crazy irrational girl!

One more "also": I just read through this post and it makes no sense... Oh well. I refuse to revise!