From the iPod

Well this is a post from my loverly iPod touch. Cyberspace, I am so happy with my life right now. I love the gospel. I love my family. I love BYU. I love the people I work with. I even love the weather we've been having. It's fantastic.

That's why I'm slightly annoyed that people are trying to force a change. My roommate, my new friends, and even my coworkers are all trying to pressure me into a change. Change is good but I've just now become used to the most recent changes in my life. Please let me stay happy a while longer before you turn my life upsidedown again.

I have just now gotten used to being away from my best friend. Just now gotten used to having to withhold feelings from my closest confidant. Used to knowing that the one person who would do anything for me regardless of the inconvenience it may cause is no longer here. I've learned to go outside my comfort zone and meet new people and start fresh. I've learned to stand on my own. I'm happy. Why do you have to change that?

One problem is that people don't know the full situation. They think they know what is best for me. I'm sure their intentions are pure, but it drives me nuts. You don't know what I'm thinking. You don't know what I'm feeling. You don't know what my Heavenly Father and I have talked about. You are outside the situation. Unless I invite you in, stay out, please! I am happy. I am being blessed. My life is good.

Another problem is I think people are selfish at times. I mean I know I am. People either want me to change to benefit them, or they are jealous of the happiness I have found. You know, I'm not really even sure. People befuddle me.

Sometimes I just don't like people. You know those times? The ones where you just want to be by yourself because everyone is driving you nuts? (By the way, the worst thing to do in those situations is go to Wal-Mart. You will want to cry and kill everyone after only five minutes in that store.) Those are the days I like to go to the mountains or the cemetery. I'm going to share my secret with you: No one will bother you in a cemetery (Well unless you sit at a gravesite of the person they are visiting). Here's what you do. If you have a cemetery that you have a loved one buried at, go there at sit by their grave. If not, pick any cemetery then find the oldest looking headstone, but make sure it has no decorations on it. You need to find one that no one will visit. That's your spot. It's perfect. If you see someone you know and you don't want them to talk to you (chances are they won't, but just in case) pretend to cry, pretend to pray. Just pretend to do something too personal for them to interrupt. And there you are. Alone at last.

You know, cemeteries are where I get my best reading done. One time I dropped by the library after a day of work at the pool. I checked out a book then went and parked by my grandmother's grave. It was getting dark outside, I was in a swimsuit and shorts, my hair was wet, and it was windy. So it was cold. I decided to sit in my car and read. Well since it was cold I left my car on so I could have the heater running. I was so focused on my book that I didn't even know my car was almost out of gas. Well... it ran out. It was cold, dark, and I was alone. So I called my dad. He came down with a gas tank and emptied it into my car. I remember him being really suspicious about why I was at the cemetery. I don't think he believed I was really reading. I'm sure he thought that I was there with my boyfriend of the time and that we were doing stuff in the car. Really dad? In a cemetery? Come on! Anyway... funny story.

You know, this is turning into quite the random blog post. A sort of stream of consciousness post. And once I acknowledged it the stream trickled to a stop...Odd. It's as if I just stopped thinking. So I guess that's where I leave you. I'm happy but frustrated at times, I hate people, but love having friends, and my dad may have thought that I did something in the cemetery. Buh-bye.