July!

This month my family and I went camping down in Beaver, Utah. We go every year for a pioneer day weekend of dirt biking and game playing! Lately it seems like Beaver Mountain is a place full of adventures and I can always come back with a good story. For instance, last year I wrecked on my dirt bike, got a concussion, and ended up in the hospital for a night. Well this year had a new story. While dad, mom, and Jen were out on a ride my dad came across a rattlesnake. My dad hopped off his bike and pulled out his forty-five and shot it in the head! What the heck?! My dad carries a gun dirt biking? My family has crossed a new line of redneck… But wait, it gets better. So after getting shot in the head the snake was still moving around trying strike whatever was threatening it. So my dad found a rock and smashed its head. The snake was still moving! So my dad pulls out his pocketknife and cuts its head off. And wouldn’t you know it, the thing was still moving around (I imagine is like when a lizard releases its tail to escape a predator and the tail still wiggles around). Well, now that the dangerous part of the snake was out of order my dad picked it up, stuffed it in his fanny pack, and brought it back to camp. When my dad showed up back at camp my siblings, my cousins and I all gathered around touching it and oohing and ahhing. Then my Grandma Mary comes up and mentions that she used to cook rattlesnakes with her husband and sons (she’s my step grandma) when they were younger. Now imagine a bunch of twelve to sixteen year old boys hearing that. I think you know what happens next. We take the snake over to a flat rock and with a pocketknife I help my cousins and brothers skin and gut the snake (I’ve assisted in surgery in a vet clinic so I’m good with knives and animal bodies… that sounded really creepy). So after we got the meat free and the skin drying on a log my Grandma Mary pulls out the tin foil and the spices and starts seasoning this long piece of snake meat. When the snake was sufficiently spiced and buttered, Mary wrapped it up and set it on the coals. We wait for an hour with Mary prodding and turning it until it’s done. Mary pulls the tin encased snake off the fire and unwraps it. She then starts pulling off bits of meat and handing it out to eager little hands. It was so funny to see her sorting through the meat saying things like, “Oh no this part is no good. I don’t want you eating that,” and “Yes this is a really good piece.” Now I’m the adventurous type so I tried a piece, and it wasn’t too bad. The flavor was kind of like chicken, but it was very rubbery. Kind of like the texture of squid but tougher. Squid is like soft rubber and rattlesnake is like tough rubber. So now I can officially say that I’ve eaten rattlesnake. Oh yeah. Us Thaynes are a bit more redneck then we were a month before. Happy August everyone. May you all have a rattlesnake-like adventure this month!