Knowledge and Life Lessons from Marriage Prep
Becoming the one vs. finding the one.
In my marriage prep class, Dr. Caroll urges us to instead of focusing now on finding “the one” we should focus on becoming “the one”. One of the ways I think we can achieve this in dating is by keeping “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” in our minds.
In reading the Proclamation we learn that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”
Young men, show that you are capable of doing this as you date a girl. Show her that you will preside over her well as you date. Be an example to her in living righteously and letting her know that you have a testimony. Fulfill your priesthood duties worthily and respectfully. Never take the power God has given you to use lightly.
Show your girl that you are able to provide for her by being responsible and keeping a job. Show it by putting money away into savings. YOU DON’T HAVE TO THROW YOUR MONEY AROUND TRYING TO IMPRESS HER. Just show her that you are responsible with your money and time.
Take care of your lady. Protect her in all aspects of life. The obvious one is to protect her from physical harm. Try to keep her safe by escorting her at nighttime or in dangerous situations. Protect her emotionally. Stand up for your woman when others try to tear her down. Do not put her in situations that would embarrass her. Lastly protect her spiritually. Share your testimony with her and ask her about hers. And young men, remember that one of the most important people to protect her from is you. Don’t you ever strike her. Be gentle with her. Keep in mind that she may not be as hardy as your male friends. Don’t harm her emotionally. Don’t you tear her down or unnecessarily criticize her. If you notice flaws and feel the need to bring them to her attention give her criticism that will help her make a change. Be sensitive. Once again, keep in mind she may not be as hardy as your male friends. Lastly protect her spiritually. Don’t do anything to her or with her that would damage her spirit. Be good with her. Don’t defile her. Keep her innocent and respect her spirit and her body. She is a daughter of God. These things will show to her that you can protect her spiritually in marriage.
In the Proclamation we also learn that “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” and “to rear their children in love and righteousness…[and] to teach them to love and serve one another”
Young women, prove that you are capable of this to the young men you are interested in. Show him that you are able to nurture by looking after him and being concerned for his well being. Support your man in the righteous decisions and goals he makes. Help him stick to his goals and become the man he wants to become. Love your man and show it in your actions. Do acts of service for him often and take care of him. Develop habits of tidiness as “cleanliness is next to godliness” and there is little to no chance of your home being like a temple if it is cluttered and filthy. Be an example of love to them by being slow to anger, being humble, patient, kind, and selfless. Show them your love often and be the one that they want to go to when they need help or support.
Not only do you have to show that you can live by the Proclamation but you should also show that you deserve a person who does as well.
Women dress modestly. That is the only way you will ever deserve to expect respect from people. If you dress like a woman with no morals then you will be treated like one. Do not take advantage of your man’s money. If you do so you are only being disrespectful to the males pressures and roles of providing. Never underestimate the challenges of providing. Don’t willingly place yourself in dangerous situations. It’s not your man’s job to keep you out of these situations, just to protect you should you fall into them. Don’t make his job harder than it should be.
Men, don’t tear down the roles of motherhood. Respect that responsibility and the difficulty involved. Don’t assume that staying home and caring for children is easy and that anyone could do it. Don’t assume that you could do it just as well as a woman. Don’t write women off as weak or illogical and irrational. Don’t write them off as beneath men. Do not use the priesthood you hold as a club to put your woman in her place. Her place is not beneath you it is beside you. When you abuse your priesthood and try to rule with unrighteous dominion then you loose the power to use that priesthood and you have no authority. Do not insult your woman like that. You are no better than her and she is no better than you. Men it is not your job to make all of the decisions in a relationship. You are supposed to make decisions with her. Consult together. Just because she doesn’t have the priesthood doesn’t mean that she can’t receive revelation. Talk together and make a decision together. Your word is not the final say. You do not preside in a hierarchy.
So I know that I have a lot more here telling men what to do, but I think that it’s because I’m a woman and I know what I would like to see as a women. Men if you have anything to add to what women should do, please respectfully comment.
In my marriage prep class, Dr. Caroll urges us to instead of focusing now on finding “the one” we should focus on becoming “the one”. One of the ways I think we can achieve this in dating is by keeping “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” in our minds.
In reading the Proclamation we learn that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”
Young men, show that you are capable of doing this as you date a girl. Show her that you will preside over her well as you date. Be an example to her in living righteously and letting her know that you have a testimony. Fulfill your priesthood duties worthily and respectfully. Never take the power God has given you to use lightly.
Show your girl that you are able to provide for her by being responsible and keeping a job. Show it by putting money away into savings. YOU DON’T HAVE TO THROW YOUR MONEY AROUND TRYING TO IMPRESS HER. Just show her that you are responsible with your money and time.
Take care of your lady. Protect her in all aspects of life. The obvious one is to protect her from physical harm. Try to keep her safe by escorting her at nighttime or in dangerous situations. Protect her emotionally. Stand up for your woman when others try to tear her down. Do not put her in situations that would embarrass her. Lastly protect her spiritually. Share your testimony with her and ask her about hers. And young men, remember that one of the most important people to protect her from is you. Don’t you ever strike her. Be gentle with her. Keep in mind that she may not be as hardy as your male friends. Don’t harm her emotionally. Don’t you tear her down or unnecessarily criticize her. If you notice flaws and feel the need to bring them to her attention give her criticism that will help her make a change. Be sensitive. Once again, keep in mind she may not be as hardy as your male friends. Lastly protect her spiritually. Don’t do anything to her or with her that would damage her spirit. Be good with her. Don’t defile her. Keep her innocent and respect her spirit and her body. She is a daughter of God. These things will show to her that you can protect her spiritually in marriage.
In the Proclamation we also learn that “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” and “to rear their children in love and righteousness…[and] to teach them to love and serve one another”
Young women, prove that you are capable of this to the young men you are interested in. Show him that you are able to nurture by looking after him and being concerned for his well being. Support your man in the righteous decisions and goals he makes. Help him stick to his goals and become the man he wants to become. Love your man and show it in your actions. Do acts of service for him often and take care of him. Develop habits of tidiness as “cleanliness is next to godliness” and there is little to no chance of your home being like a temple if it is cluttered and filthy. Be an example of love to them by being slow to anger, being humble, patient, kind, and selfless. Show them your love often and be the one that they want to go to when they need help or support.
Not only do you have to show that you can live by the Proclamation but you should also show that you deserve a person who does as well.
Women dress modestly. That is the only way you will ever deserve to expect respect from people. If you dress like a woman with no morals then you will be treated like one. Do not take advantage of your man’s money. If you do so you are only being disrespectful to the males pressures and roles of providing. Never underestimate the challenges of providing. Don’t willingly place yourself in dangerous situations. It’s not your man’s job to keep you out of these situations, just to protect you should you fall into them. Don’t make his job harder than it should be.
Men, don’t tear down the roles of motherhood. Respect that responsibility and the difficulty involved. Don’t assume that staying home and caring for children is easy and that anyone could do it. Don’t assume that you could do it just as well as a woman. Don’t write women off as weak or illogical and irrational. Don’t write them off as beneath men. Do not use the priesthood you hold as a club to put your woman in her place. Her place is not beneath you it is beside you. When you abuse your priesthood and try to rule with unrighteous dominion then you loose the power to use that priesthood and you have no authority. Do not insult your woman like that. You are no better than her and she is no better than you. Men it is not your job to make all of the decisions in a relationship. You are supposed to make decisions with her. Consult together. Just because she doesn’t have the priesthood doesn’t mean that she can’t receive revelation. Talk together and make a decision together. Your word is not the final say. You do not preside in a hierarchy.
So I know that I have a lot more here telling men what to do, but I think that it’s because I’m a woman and I know what I would like to see as a women. Men if you have anything to add to what women should do, please respectfully comment.
I agree with this. Also to both don't forget that everyone is human and on a road to perfection. Patience is key especially if you significant other is going in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this.
ReplyDeleteI came across this blog whilst looking up the definition of "hypaethral" for this paper I am editing. Now that know the definition of the said word, I love it that you named your blog as such. Very very cool :)
ReplyDeleteEdit: Now that I know
ReplyDelete