Out foul demon!

It is cruel and cunning. It is a monster. It attacks the brain and kills the very will of its victims as it feeds off their energy. I have been the prey of this conniving beast many times and I have lived to tell the tale. Heed my words and you may too.

This pitiless monster attacks when its prey least expects it. It strikes as victims are focused on deadlines and responsibilities. Never does it attack on weekends or during leisure time. That would be too kind.

No one is really sure of its point of entry, but the beast attacks from inside its victims’ bodies. This monster begins small. No larger than an innocent little pea. However, with prolonged habitation in a human body, the beast grows to formidable size.

The monster, at first appears harmless. It enters the brain and begins to fill it with thoughts. The human’s mind flits like a hummingbird from one useless thought to the next. The smallest instances cause the victim to grind its teeth and furrow its brow. As I said, seeming harmless, this beast looks as if it is no more than a mere nuisance.

First, it fills the skull. This initial expansion crowds the victim’s cranium applying pressure on the fragile suture joints of the skull. Either a sharp pounding or a dull pulsing (dependant on the strength of the beast) then plagues the victim. In addition to the cranial pain, the monster’s growth forces sloppy wet tears to spill from the target’s eyes.

After this point rapid swelling occurs. The beast quickly overtakes the entire body. In the case of a weak enemy jittery shakes may overtake a victim’s arms or legs as the monster struggles to take over. Joints lock up. Muscles begin to fail. The body shuts down. In some cases the monster crowds the abdomen to such an extreme causing the stomach to expel its contents to make room for the greedy beast. The monster controls all.

How does one exorcise the demon? No Latin-chanting-water-flinging holy men are required. The first step is to regain control over your breathing. This cruel monster would have it remain short and sharp, limiting the oxygen flow to the brain. This keeps its victim’s brain clouded and confused.

If the victim can expand the lungs enough then the monster will begin to weaken. As the victim recaptures the space in the diaphragm the monster begins to flow out of the body with every breath. (Be wary not to breathe too deeply. On one occasion I blew the entire beast out in one breath and had to wrestle him into submission. If this does happen to you I pray to God that you’ve had some sort of combat training. Lucky for me this particular beast had short arms). Breath after breath the beast will leave the body.

Once the beast is expelled one must proceed with caution. Victims must be sure to keep their guard up as this monster doesn’t take kindly to usurpers and will often strike again with rapid revenge.

There are many things one may do to keep the beast at bay. Quickly, smile and whistle a happy tune. Go give someone a hug. Cuddle with a puppy or baby. Now that your defenses are fortified, turn to that mile long to-do list packed with looming deadlines and tackle it. It’s like eating an elephant: Just one small piece at a time. This is within your power for you have vanquished the fearsome demon that is called Stress.