My Future Spouse

Well this post has been sitting in no man's land as a draft since May. The main points of this post have been ever changing in my mind as I have gone from deliriously in love to heart broken to acceptance and now to an independence and a new hope. Now I feel like this post in my mind is ready to be published. While it may not be long and it may not mean anything to you, this post is special to me. This morning I asked a friend what a wife was. What did he really think she was meant for. He replied that he didn't really know and that he had never really thought about it. I then asked him to think about it and I gave him a good amount of time until I asked him again. The answer he gave me was so pure and so profound and so perfect that it made me cry. I didn't cry because I was sad. I was crying because the relationship he described was so beautiful. I refrain from posting a description because what he shared was of a personal nature to him, but I know that that is what I want. I don't care how long it takes, but I'm going to find that. I don't have anyone in my life that is what he described for me nor do I think that I am anything near what he described for someone else in my life right now. I do think there are some in my life (whether they are very much in it or only have mere side roles at the time) who could be that if we both made the nessicary improvements and if we waited until that right time, but now at this moment they aren't here and I have to go on searching. To whoever you are where ever you are out there, I love you and I can't wait to meet you. I will do all that I can to be what you need. I will work on myself so that I will deserve you in my life. God be with you till we meet.