I'll teach you a thing or two.

I know I may not seem like it, but I think I may be a bit of a pushover. Maybe a little bit of a people pleaser too. I need to learn how to stand up for myself. If I continue to let people walk all over me and take advantage of me then they will always treat me that way. Tyra Banks said, "You teach others how to treat you." I think that is so true. If you don't stand up for yourself you teach people that they can take advantage of you and use you and that it's okay. You condition them to act that way. When you don't act you tell them that it's alright for them to continue acting the way they do and they will continue to act that way. Not only is it important to stand up for yourself, but you need to do it the first time or it will be harder. Human beings are creatures of habit. Once they develop a behavior it's hard to leave it. People resist change, whether good or bad, because it takes effort to adjust. You deserve respect so expect and hold others to that expectation, and if they won't give you the respect you deserve then don't associate with them. Also important to remember is that you should hold yourself to the same standards as you hold others. Don't be a hypocrite. (I know I'm being a hypocrite just telling you not to be one, but I'm progressing out of that). If you are going to demand respect then you, in turn, must give it. Keep in mind that being respectful doesn't mean being passive. You can still stand up for yourself and be a strong individual. In fact I see those who are respectful yet assertive as some of the strongest people I know. Now standing up for yourself doesn't mean being selfish and into yourself. It just means be true to yourself and how you would like to be treated. If someone needs your help, but it's inconvenient to you so what? Get off your butt and help them. But if helping them lessens you as a person or comes to a point that it harms you more than helps them you need to let them go. If you can help them "with the preservation of [your] own honor and fidelity and self respect, [let them] show [you] the way and [help them]; but if [they] require [you] to lose [your] own proper good, that [they] main gain what is no good, consider how foolish and unreasonable" you would be to help them (The Enchiridion, Epictetus, XXIV). I know this isn't how Christ would act. I know that He suffered and died for everyone regardless of how they treated Him. But I am not Christ. I don't have His strength. If I let one person drag me down then I won't be able to help anyone else. I have to choose my battles. "[I] can be unconquerable if [I] enter into no combat in which it is not in [my] own power to conquer." (The Enchiridion,Epictetus, XIX). I will still help others, but not if it tears me down. "When you see anyone weeping for grief, either that his son has gone abroad or that he has suffered in his affairs, take care not to be overcome by the apparent evil, but discriminate and be ready to say, "What hurts this man is not this occurrence itself - for another man may not be hurt by it - but the view he choses to take of it." As far as conversation goes, however, do not disdain to accommodate yourself to him and, if need be, to groan with him. Take heed however, not to groan inwardly, too." (The Enchiridion,Epictetus, XVI).

So here is my new creed, if you will. I will demand respect from those with which I associate and in turn give them respect. I will do so without demeaning them or turning away truly needy hands.

Those who read this be forewarned. I will not be pushed around any longer. I am my own person and I will be respected. I have troubles and worries just like any one else. If you won't respect me then I won't be your rescuer. And I think that by demanding this from those who seek my help will help them more than if I were to do what they asked. It will teach them how to teach people. It will teach them the importance of respect and gratitude. That's another thing. If I do help you then please be appreciative and grateful. It takes a portion of sacrifice for me to help you and while I am willing to do it because it allows me to get outside of myself, I will be more willing and a more effective assistance if I feel that I'm appreciated. And don't only say that you are grateful. These days words are nearly meaningless what with all of the crap in this world. You have to show that you are grateful. "More than words is what I want." Anyone can say words. Anyone can have good lines that charm hearts. Anyone can be a charmer. Who cares if you have good lines if the have no support and crumble under the least bit of pressure. Don't let your words define you. Actions and behaviors are much more reliable so make them your focus.

Well I've rambled on quite enough. This post kind of developed a mind of it's own, but I'm pleased with it. Take heed for I will hold you to this.