BARF...Barf...Barf...BARF!!!

If you have a weak stomach when it comes to vomit this entry is not for your eyes!

For about a week now I have been feeling nauseous and weak.  My entire system has felt dead and drained.  Mentally, physically, emotionally dead.   It's definitely not a happy feeling.  The other day, yesterday in fact, I was hungry.  I woke up too late for breakfast before German.  Luckily I had an hour break before Book of Mormon.  At 10:50 I went back home and fried up three eggs, toasted two slices of bread, and rescued my orange juice from the black hole that is the fridge.  I enjoyed my warm meal then went back out into the cruel world.  After Book of Mormon I usually go to lunch with Kelsey, Smelly, and Liz, but since I had just had breakfast a few hours ago I instead decided to go take a nap in the Benson before Chemistry.  As I was napping Kendall showed up and attended my Chem class.  After we went to Subway and both wolfed down a foot-long and shared a bag of chips.  We returned to my dorm where we watched A Little Princess, one of my childhood favorites.  After the movie we went out and bought ingredients to make chicken fajitas and fruit salad.  Upon our return trip from Maceys we began the mixing and chopping involved in this particular recipe.  Kendall did most of the knife work for the fajitas as I am completely useless and he also fixed my mistakes while cooking the chicken.  I am completely useless in the kitchen.  Finally, the food was all finished.  We put our fajitas together and dug in.  They were so good and the fruit salad was a nice compliment to the meal.  Two fajitas and two bowls of fruit salad later I collapsed on the couch feeling quite full and somewhat sick.  At first I though I just need to lie down.  I'll be fine. Boy was I wrong.  I got up and made my way to the bathroom.  Kendall began to follow.  I instructed him to stay in the kitchen as vomit makes him rather queasy.  I knelt down in front of the porcelain bowl and the acids began to wreak havoc on my esophagus. Retroperistalsis swept up the contents of my digestive tract into my stomach, through my relaxed pyloric sphincter. My intrathoracic pressure lowered, coupled with an increase in abdominal pressure as my muscles contracted.  This change in pressure propelled my stomach contents into the esophagus as my lower esophageal sphincter relaxed.  The pressure was suddenly released when my esophagus relaxed resulting in the expulsion of my gastric contents. It was horribly malodorous. The first one was the worst.  That was the first time I have ever had vomit spew out of my nares.  The burning digestive acids were horrid.  The first explosion of vomit was followed by three more, equal in stench, rockets of vomit.  Delicious.  By now I had gastric secretion on my shirt, my face, the walls, the floor, and the toilet.  Yum.   I peered into the bowl Great... An olive. I lost my Subway too.  Money and food wasted.  After scrubbing the bathroom, changing, and gargling mouthwash, I felt much better, but hungry... Drat.  Oh well.  I'll try to fill my stomach tomorrow.  Stupid GI system.  I give it food, it spews it back painfully then growls for more.  Yeah right.  You're being punished until you can take what I give you, you picky little thing!  Anyway... Now that we all know I'm insane I'll share with yo what I've learned.  I googled vomit and found some interesting things that you may or may not know. 

• Vomiting initiates an SNS causing both sweating and an increased heart rate.
• For people not in the habit of exercising the abdominal muscles, they may be painful for the next few days. Thank goodness for physical training!
  
• Recurrent vomit may lead to the destruction of tooth enamel due to the acidity of the vomit.
• On airplanes and boats, special bags are supplied for sick passengers to vomit into. A special disposable bag containing absorbent material that solidifies the vomit quickly is available, also, making it convenient and safe to keep (leakproof, puncture-resistant, odorless) until there is an opportunity to dispose of it conveniently.  I knew they had bags, but it solidifies the vomit? Gross!
  
• According to an online study of 30 traditionally bad sounds, the sound of vomiting is the worst sound in the world.

And that is all I have for you from the wonderful world of vomit.  I hope you leave here today enriched and satisfied.