Why I love the internet...

...more than my husband would like me to.

I couldn't really tell you when I was first exposed to the internet.  I know I was young.  In elementary school.  I can't really pin down an exact age all I can tell you is that I got it.  When I used the internet, I got it.  It wasn't something that I have ever had to struggle to learn or get used to like spelling or writing in cursive.  It was simple, and it was usable and I loved it.

In fourth, fifth, and sixth grade I was in a computer class.  That's where I first learned the very basics of HTML.  I was hooked.  Here I was, an eleven year old with a knowledge of how powerful the internet was, learning the basic tools to have a real presence there.  I was an awkward little elementary school student putting her voice out in a place that I understood and a place that I felt understood me. 

As time passed I didn't really keep up with HTML, but the internet still held it's appeal.  I could create online versions of myself who were judged by the content provided and not by appearances or prejudices.  I started on neopets.com.  People on there liked me, either because they were all socially awkward like me, or maybe because I really was awesome.  All I really know is that people were listening to me, the real me, not the socially acceptable me.

I got involved in some online forums and chatted with people.  Again, people accepted me for the ideas I posted rather than disregarding me because I was young, or a girl, or whatever.  It was liberating.  From there I joined Facebook, I began a blog, I joined Twitter, Linkedin.  Every new thing I came across added a little more to my knowledge base.  I learned little tricks to make my internet usage more efficient.  I found new resources for expanding my presence or for learning something new.  I recognized the usefulness of the internet, and I recognized the opportunities it provided me.

I found that people were more themselves on the internet.  They didn't have to pretend to be something our of a fear of rejection.  They simply went where they knew they would be accepted and showed the world that they were real people.  On the internet people don't always have to pretend to be happy, and they don't have to pretend they have a perfect life.  The internet showed me that there were others out there like me, and that maybe everyone was like me.  I've always been able to relate to the internet.  I think that's why I've tried so hard to show through my blog that I'm a real person.  I'm not a perfect Mormon, wife, student, friend, or person, but neither are you.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that throughout my life, the internet has been a place that I've felt in control.  It's been a place where I can relax because I don't have to think too much and I don't have to keep up appearances.  I can be who I am, and the people that like that read it or follow it, and those who don't usually ignore it.  It's been a way for me to get my ideas out to not only people in my life, but then to people I've never met and I'll likely never meet in the future.  When I'm on the internet, I feel heard.

I know my husband values the internet as a resource for information, but I'm not sure the internet has ever had the same appeal to him as it has to me.  I don't know, maybe it's because of our age difference, but he doesn't seem to understand that some aspects of my time on the computer are actually very therapeutic to me.  Maybe that's pathetic to a lot of you out there, but to me, the internet just makes sense.  It allows me to find a lot of information, to feel heard, and a lot of other things, and the great thing is, I don't have to struggle to do those things.  

No stress, just freedom.